Maureen Cecilea Roper - Sitio Web Conmemorativo En Línea

Technically I was born July 25, 1950 in Indiana. But as a result of a long story and screwed up adoption, my birth certificate says that I was born November 10, 1949 in Peoria, Illinois.

Dreaded Diagnosis

It is 4 days before my birthday, and I take my mother to see her Ob-Gyn to get the results of her uterine biopsy. We are hopeful that the fybroid tumor is not cancerous, but we still have our guard up.

Dr. Francis proceeds to tell us that my mother has cancer and it is a type of cancer that he is not prepared to deal with. So he refers us to Indianapolis, to Dr. Sutton at St. Vincents Hospital.

My mother knew going into that appointment that she had cancer, but when she was told the reality of it hit her like a ton of bricks. She looked at me and said "I have cancer and I am going to die from it."

Dawson, mom's youngest grandchild turns 9 today.

We see Dr. Sutton in his office for the final pre-op testing. A pap smear was done to test for anything abnormal on the cervix, all came back clean. The hysterectomy is set for the following Monday.

We get to the hospital and get mom prepped for surgery. It is very hard to see her laying in that bed, not know what the outcome of this surgery will be. Dr. Sutton assured us numerous times that this would be a routine hysterectomy, and that she had a 95% chance of coming out of it cancer free.

So the time comes to say see ya later as they wheel her off to surgery.

My Aunt Jan, mom's sister, my two kids and myself sit and wait for seems an eternity.

Around 2 hours pass by and the Doc comes out to see us. It was the news we all dreaded.

"Your mother is ate up with cancer. This is something that has been growing in her for at least 10 to 15 years."

Her chances go from a 95% chance of being cured to a 65% chance of SURVIVING!

He told us that he almost just closed her up and sent her home to die. But, he wanted her to have a fighting chance so he took out what he could and from there would be radiation and some chemo.

She finally comes home after 10 very long days in the hospital.

We have a very long road ahead of us, and one hell of a fight. Are we all up for it? I'm really not sure.

She has an incision in her belly that is about 10 inches long and about 2 inches deep that has to be packed with gauze twice a day. It takes a 4 yard long by 4 inch wide roll of gauze to fill that incision.

To my Best Friend Jessica: I thank you, mom thanks you, and the kids thank you, for everything that you did to help us! You stood up and helped when no one else would or could. THANKS PEACHES!

Mom breaks out in hives, from what we are not sure.

After a trip to the hospital, we find out she has methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus. It's a strain of staph that's resistant to the broad-spectrum antibiotics commonly used to treat it. MRSA can be fatal.

She spends her last birthday alive in the hospital. She spends her last Thanksgiving alive in the hospital. Fighting a staph infection that could easily kill her.

Lucky for us, she is home for her last Christmas alive.

I cannot remember the exact date of the radiation starting, but I do remember that it was in February.

All of her cancer care was to be done at Jasper Memorial Hospital in Jasper Indiana.

The doctors there were AMAZING!

She was to have radiation in 36 treatments, which was 5 days a week. Then we would have to go to Evansville, Indiana once a week for 5 weeks for vaginal radiation as the cancer had spread to the outer layers of the vaginal wall.

MRSA rears its ugly head again. The first time, MRSA was in her bladder. This time it was in her blood. So, tests had to be done on her heart to make sure that it had not infected her heart. This is when we found out the cancer had spread to her brain and that she had 17 pulmonary embolisms in her lungs.

The docs gave her 6 months to live IF she did the radiation on her head. By this time, the radiation on her belly was over and she had lost well over 100 pounds.

She did 10 radiation treatments to her brain. They were a failure.

MRSA again! Are you freaking serious?

This time it is in an abscess on her spine. Once this is removed we did treatment at home for the infection.

I get a phone call that my mother is being taken by ambulance to Jasper Memorial due to severe lethargy and unresponsiveness.

I get to the hospital and I am not prepared for what i see. My mother has no idea who I am or who anyone is or where she is.

After 3 days, I make the very horrible and painful decision to stop all cancer treatment and have her moved to a nursing home in Princeton, Indiana.

I feel like I gave up on her, but the doctors told me that there was nothing more they could do for her at this point, and she needed round the clock medical care and her only option was a nursing home.

My birthday - I go see mom, and lucky for me she knows who I am today.

The days come and go for her. Some are good, most are bad.

I find out today, of all days, that the cancer has spread to her liver and her bones.

I knew that was a death sentence and I would soon say good-bye to the most amazing woman I have ever known.

It's 10am, Marc and I are just out of bed when the phone rings. It's mom and she is hysterical. She tells me I need to get to the nursing home immediately that she is going to die.

So, Marc and I quickly get dressed and drive to the nursing home which is about 15 minutes away.

As we are pulling into the nursing home, she calls me back and is very calm. She asks me if I brought her any clothes, and I told her that she had all of her clothes. And she told me that she probably didnt need them where she was going anyway. She then asks the nurse if they will take her to the hospital first or to the funeral home. She is convinced she is going to die that day.

Mom starts raising hell that she wants a cigarette and we all agree that at this point a smoke isnt going to kill her. So we wheel her outside to the smoking area, and she has a very massive seizure which lasts for about 15 minutes. It was another hour and a half before she was semi-lucid again.

We had to leave in a hurry that day because our daughter missed the bus. The last words I heard from my mother: "I love you baby, I will see you later"

Moms nurse calls to tell me that she is unresponsive and has lost all control of her eyes.

Pain is the only stimulus she responds to and she seems to be in a lot of it. So a sub-q line is put in for the morphine to help ease the pain. she is getting massive amounts of morphine, plus the ativan and valium to help relax her body to prevent anymore seizures.

Moms nurse calls and tells me that mom has had 17 seizures in the past 3 hours and i need to get up there.

I go home to the kids and Marc and I sit them down to tell them what has been going on with Mom that day.

I had Dawson in my lap, Shayna to my left and Marc to my right. I told Dawson that I hoped Nana could hold on for just 2 more weeks for his birthday but I didnt think she would.

My cell phone rings, and I know its that dreaded call. It's Angie, mom's nurse. The fight, the pain, the sickness is over. Mom has finally let go.

At 4:55 pm CDT, my beautiful mother said good bye to this world and moved on to the next where she could watch over us all until we join her.

We went to the nursing home to say our final good byes. I had prepared for this moment for the past year, but nothing would prepare me for kissing my mother goodbye for the last time.

She was cold and lifeless and I begged the Gods above to bring her back to me. But it would not be done. She was gone. Forever. I would never hear her voice again tell me that she loved me and that she was proud of me. I would not get to have her as my maid of honor in my wedding. she would never get to see her grandkids grow up.

This was the day that I would have to learn how to live my life without being able to turn to my mom for help or advice. Today, my life as I knew it came to an end. And a very large part of my heart died when she took her last breath.

Moved on to the Summerlands on Wednesday, September 3, 2008 at 4:55pm CDT at the age of 58.

Happy Birthday Mommy!!!!

I love you and I miss you! I have decided to start looking for Sophie again. I cannot survive losing you without her or at least knowing where she is and that she is ok.

I love you

Momma,

I found her! I found Sophie! I talked to her for 4 hours on the phone and what a relief to hear her voice. Having her back in my life helps to fill the void that I have from you being gone.

I love you and I miss you!

You were there, only not in the way I wanted you to be.

You told me to never get married again until you met Marc. Then it couldnt happen fast enough.

We finally did it Momma! I wish you could have been there in person, But you weren't and it's ok, it was time for you to go.

All i wanted was for you to be healthy and without pain. And to have that I had to let you go.

Christmas is in 2 days, I just got married and I should be the happiest woman alive. Part of me is, and part of me wants to die so I can be with you.

But, I will be ok, I have a good man to take care of me and the kids. And some how, we will get through all of this. we will learn to live without your physical presence.

I love you so much, and I miss you so much sometimes I cant breathe.

You have her with you now. Reita has finally come to join you. On my first Mother's Day without you, I have to make the long drive home to mourn the loss of your best friend, my second mom, and be there for Ray, Reb and Robyn as they mourn the loss of the most amazing woman they have ever known.

Take care of her, as I know you will.

I love you and I miss you!

I should be with you now, but for some reason I am still alive.

After two days of having ruptured appendix, I am still alive, and have had it removed.

Part of me wishes I had just died, so the pain of living without you would be gone. But I needed to be here for the kids and Marc. I know at this point they could not live without me. So the fighter in me came out and here I am, still alive. In the hospital and in a lot of pain, but still alive.

I love you!